Parents
3/22/09 After writing this long article, I found that www.AllAboutNannyCare.com has all of the information I wanted to convey, very clearly stated and well-organized and easily accessible, and with more detail and resources. I recommend finding your information there. As time permits, I’ll be going through this article and cutting it down to just the local resources and editorial comments that are peculiar to the Boston area and my own experience.
Nanny Care: How to Find and Keep a Good Match for Your Family
By Janice St. Clair, Career Nanny in Cambridge, and Founder/Facilitator of the Boston Area Nanny Support Group
You have decided to hire someone who will come to your home (or live in your home) to take care of your children on a regular part-time or full-time basis.
This person will be unsupervised while caring for your most vulnerable and precious treasure: your young children. She will work in your sanctuary (your home) around your other valuables as well, and be exposed to areas of your private life. Whoever you hire, you want to be sure that this person is discreet and trustworthy as well as having the core knowledge, skills, and experience needed to care competently for your children. Small wonder that finding a nanny can be highly stressful for parents. The good news is that some advance preparation can help you find a good match for your family, and careful record checks and appropriate ongoing supervision can both screen out bad apples and keep you assured that your children are receiving good care .
Regardless of the resources you use in your nanny search, you will be speaking to many applicants with different skill sets, childcare styles, personalities, and work ethics. Having a clearly defined list of nanny responsibilities and knowing the level of responsibility you expect your nanny to carry will help you set criteria for the person you will hire. This will narrow down the field of applicants, and allow you to articulate in your Craigslist ad, or to nanny agency personnel, a clear idea of what you are looking for as a match for your family.
Start by assessing and listing your family’s childcare needs. Write up a daily schedule for the hours you need covered, adding in overlap time for transitioning and for common causes of late arrival home. (That is, if you aim to be home by 6pm but traffic often delays you until 6:15, your nanny’s shift should officially end at 6:20-6:30.) Do you need your nanny to transport the children? Does the nanny need to live in or live out? Do you need someone who can accommodate a flexible work schedule rather than a fixed one? Write down a typical day’s schedule that you want a caregiver to follow for your child or children…that will help you imagine the type of person who could fill that role, and the skill set she should have.
Next consider how you want the nanny to work with you: once she is settled and you are comfortable with her, do you want to be the one who directs what she does each day, where she does it, and with whom? Do you want to set each day’s schedule, stay in touch all day, and be the one to steer the ship, so to speak? Or do you want to let the caregiver make playdates with other caregivers and children she meets, choose among local age-appropriate activities, and take full charge of the children during her shift? Or some combination of setting guidelines and letting the nanny make a routine using approved destinations and approved playdate-people, and daily debriefings? (Note that even full-charge nannies do write notes about the day’s activities, and check in once or twice a day if the parent desires periodic contact. The difference is in the level of autonomy the parent is comfortable with allowing a nanny, once the parent is satisfied she is trustworthy.)
Nannies should have clean driving records, be current on their CPR and 1st Aid Certification, have experience with children in your child’s age range and/or some type of child-development schooling, at the very least.
Below are some more specific criteria you may want to consider while finding the best match for your family:
Experience: Has the person had enough experience caring for children the ages of your own? Is it important to you whether that experience is in raising the candidate’s own children or helping with younger siblings, working as a nanny, teaching, nursing, with athsma or special needs, or in a daycare setting? Note that previous experience as a fulltime nanny is insurance that eliminates the possibility of the person quitting shortly after hire, upon discovering that it’s just too hard or isolating to be a nanny.
Age and Maturity: How much you require may depend on how closely you will direct and supervise your caregiver.
Education: Would you prefer someone with a degree in child development or early education, or other special training? Would you be comfortable with your children absorbing speaking styles and viewpoints from someone who is markedly less educated than you? All nannies should have current certifications in CPR and First Aid. (In fact, so should you!) Find local Red Cross Courses at http://coursereg.stores.yahoo.net or call Priscilla Flannery at 617.287.2922.
Skill Sets: Do you need your caregiver to cook, drive, organize, manage schedules and appointments, lifeguard, homeschool, assist with homework, speak a foreign language, etc.?
Personality: What type of person would be a good match for your family? Do you want someone quiet or outgoing? A fellow clean-freak, or someone who will be relaxed about your “lived-in” housekeeping style? Someone who is able to handle long periods indoors with a napping infant, or someone who is athletic and active who can tire out your sports-loving 6 year old? Someone who shares your religious beliefs and culture? A pet-lover? Non-smoker? Someone who seeks to become part of the family, someone who keeps a strict professional distance, or someone at a point balanced somewhere between the two?
Live-in, or live-out? If you have a nice private room or apartment to offer, and would be comfortable sharing your home, a live-in caregiver may be an option. Do realize that a live-in caregiver still needs a work schedule, and her time off is her own. She is not “on call” 24/7. Other information on choosing and working with live-in nannies can be found at agency websites.
Other important factors: Are you accessible by T, or must the nanny own a car? Does nanny need to use her car on the job, or yours? What is the minimum time commitment you would want from a nanny (6 months, a year, etc.)? What can you afford to pay a nanny? Is compatibility with (and responsibility for) family pets important? Does anyone in your family have an allergy that might be exacerbated if your caregiver is covered with dander from her own pet, or wears strong scents? Consider carefully whether you need a nanny who speaks English well, and the impact on your ability to communicate with her, and the impact on children’s language development, if you choose a nanny who does not speak English fluently.
Finding that ‘perfect fit’ takes time, dedication and much research. The following websites can help you prepare:
Household Duties expected:
Experienced nannies almost always accept only jobs that do not involve major housework. Expect your nanny’s time to be focused on the needs of the child/children.
Nannies are usually also responsible for the children’s things; doing the children’s laundry and changing their bedding and towels. Nannies tidy up messes made by themselves and the children during their shift, teaching children to pick up after themselves while helping as developmentally needed until the children have mastered the skill. Some nannies do other child-related tasks such as changing over seasonal clothing from storage to closets, clothing shopping and other child-related errands, disinfecting and cleaning toys, organizing playspaces.
All non-child-related household tasks are negotiable but not always advisable to request. Some nannies do love to cook, some are fine with certain light cleaning tasks, some are happy to put the baby in the car or stroller and do the family grocery shopping. But think very carefully before you decide about loading household tasks into the job description: feeling like a servant has caused many a nanny to quit. Nannies, especially those with minimal experience, are often eager to please and will accept household tasks thinking they can manage them while caring for the children…only to find the reality is not what they expected. And a person who has to do all the tasks that no one else wants to do, cleaning up after other adults, feels demeaned and resentment grows…not how you want the person taking care of your children to feel. If you can’t afford a weekly cleaning service, and your childcare needs are really light enough to justify hiring a nanny/housekeeper instead of a nanny, be sure you specify the proportion of cleaning to childcare in your advertisement.
A Note on Nanny-Shares:
Some families save money by hiring a nanny to care for the children in two families together, using one or the other of the family’s homes as the site for the care, or alternating homes. This arrangement requires a lot more work for parents and caregiver, and rarely lasts because of the strains involved. The nanny is responsible to two sets of employers with differing styles of parenting and of being employers. Having a vacation break depends on both families going away at the same time, and her financial security depends on both sets of employers paying her even if one is away. The parent sets may disagree on any number of issues from how to potty train to how sick the nanny should be and still come in. All need to decide what happens if one family’s child gets contagiously sick or one set of parents come home markedly late, and agree on various other scenarios that may arise. Parents sharing a nanny should expect to pay more than half the going hourly rate for a nanny, to compensate her for the added work of dealing with two families.
HOW TO FIND THE NANNY
Once you know what you want in a nanny, there are many ways to find the right person for your family’s needs, and the search methods involve various levels of expense or time and screening. Word of mouth sometimes transitions in a nanny with a glowing personal recommendation from a trusted friend or acquaintance whose children have just outgrown the need for a nanny. The timing is rarely this good. And a good fit with a friend is not always a good fit for your family, so be careful to run such a godsend through your criteria before jumping at the chance to hire her.
Doing it Yourself: Hiring and screening on your own is cheap but requires a lot of time and effort…and a public post on Craigslist or in the newspapers brings all the nuts out along with the serious candidates. So do flyers and other public notices, although if judiciously placed they can attract fewer inappropriate candidates (less public venues, such as on the bulletin boards at your gym or office, in colleges that teach child development and early education, at Gymboree and other pay-for-play sites, etc.) Nevertheless, regardless of how specific you are about your requirements in your ads, you will be spending a mind-melting amount of time on the phone and/or email, screening out inappropriate candidates.
However, many agencies will do a background and reference check for a flat fee of $100-200 if you do the work of finding the nanny you want. So if you are willing to take on all the advertising, screening, and interviewing, you can save most of the agency fee and still be sure a good check is done. Otherwise, add to your search responsibilities: speaking to each reference, calling and checking employment and education records from her resume, seeing originals of her driver’s license, social security card, school diplomas and degrees, current CPR/First Aid certifications, and any other document that proves identity and education submitted as part of her qualifications. Copy and file driver’s license and Social Security card…you will need them as proof of her identity when filling out tax forms. Contact the police department and arrange for a criminal record and CORI check. Contact the DMV for a check of her driving record. (There are fees and paperwork involved for all of these.)
Using Nanny Placement Agencies. Agencies charge widely varying fees for signing up with them and for placing a nanny with you. The free periodical “Boston Parents’ Paper” usually has a listing of local agencies. There are also online agencies such as SitterCity.com, HomeWorkSolutions.com, AmericasNannies.com (live-in only), and many others. I have little experience with online agencies, and only know SitterCity by hearing about it and the others I mentioned by their kind support of the nanny community in sponsoring and teaching free workshops at NannyPalooza conferences. Online agencies tend to be cheaper than in-person ones, but vary widely in what they provide for the money. Both online and in-person placement agencies can distinguish themselves by membership in The Association for Premier Nanny Agencies (APNA – www.theapna.org), International Nanny Association (INA – www.nanny.org) and National Association for Nanny Care (NANC – www.nannycredential.org).
Other nannies have recommended the following online agencies, and inform me that in using online agencies you still have to do all the searching to see which nanny listed meets your needs. The cost runs about $75-$300.
4Nannies: www.4Nannies.com
NannyClassifieds: www.nannyclassifieds.com
Go Nannies: www.gonannies.com
Nannies 4 Hire: www.nannies4hire.com
I have heard both horror stories and great success stories about nannies found through free Craigslist classifieds. Just be sure to have first meetings in a public place, guard your personal information until you are sure you have a candidate of interest, and be thorough with background and reference checks.
The greatest advantage to working with a reputable agency, is that they have done the initial screening out of the many, many truly horrendous applicants, who never have to learn your name and contact information. Agencies do save you tremendous amounts of time and work. Different agencies have different minimum criteria for nannies to register with them, and it is wise to know these criteria before choosing which agency or agencies you will sign with. A good agency will not just try to fit a square peg into a round hole to make their fee…ask around to see which agencies have helped other people find a good match for their families, and which sent inappropriate candidates such as part-timers to fill a fulltime schedule or nannies looking only for school-aged children to care for a newborn.
Before the nanny starts work, the agency should provide you with a hard copy of their reference and background check (state and county criminal record check, CORI (child abuse record check), driving record check, identification verification report, and their notes on their check of references). Insist on having this paperwork if the agency does not automatically provide it. Call the references yourself, regardless of the groundwork laid by the agency…you may have questions that are not part of the agency’s list, and you can determine a lot more beyond the facts by the tone of voice answering you.
COMPENSATION PACKAGE
Salary –
What is the going hourly rate for nannies in your area? Ask your friends, being sure to ask about the age and experience level of the person they are paying at that level. Call agencies and ask the current range of starting salaries for the type of person you’re looking for. (These often run in increments of $3 for averages, for instance: $15-18/hr.)
SitterCity.com has a calculator for average salaries in this area, although I’ve found it to register quite low. The International Nanny Association does a periodic nationwide salary survey, with results listed by region. The most recent is at www.nanny.org/2006salarysurvey.php. The results of the 2008 survey should be available soon.
When determining a salary, many factors need to be considered:
-Current local salary ranges for nannies with the education, experience. maturity, and qualifications you require
-Number and ages of children (Infants, toddlers and preschoolers involve greater responsibility and harder work than older children.)
-Level of responsibility (Will nanny have full charge of the children, will there be a stay-at-home-parent supervising? Will you be monitoring closely and directing the day-to-day schedule, or expecting the nanny to set appropriate routines and schedule age-appropriate activities and outings?)
-Scope of responsibility: (Is this position strictly childcare, or are there house-manager duties such as scheduling appointments, keeping calendars, shopping, cooking, cleaning, hiring or supervising staff, etc.? Will the nanny be homeschooling, supervising homework, etc.?)
-How long do you want to keep this nanny? Paying above the minimum in the salary range encourages a nanny to stay, and helps her feel valued. Building in regular (6-month or annual) cost-of-living and merit raises or bonuses will also attract candidates.
Benefits:
Fulltime employees expect 1-2 weeks vacation time (with the option to choose the timing of at least one of the weeks of vacation), and major federal holidays. Local holidays such as Patriot’s Day, and lesser federal holidays such as Columbus Day, are negotiable, but major federal holidays should be paid days off. The day after Thanksgiving is often given with pay. One personal day per year is appreciated, or more if the family is setting the dates of all the vacation time or if not all federal holidays are given. Sick days (5/year) are important, as kids often give their germs to the nanny despite all reasonable precautions. A nice way to group optional days off is to offer 7-10 days to be used as any combination of the nanny’s choice of personal, sick, or professional development days, with unused days to be paid off or carried over at the end of the year.
Part-time employees generally receive proportionally the same vacation and sick time benefits as fulltime. That is, divide the hours in a fulltime person’s vacation and sick time by the hours in the PT nanny’s schedule, and then divide by 12. She earns that many hours vacation and sick time at the end of each month.
This is the nanny’s livelihood, so any additional vacation the family may take, or days during which the nanny is scheduled but not needed, her salary must be guaranteed regardless. Consider if the pipes burst at your office, and you were given the week off…would you expect to be docked that week’s pay? Consider any extra paid time off as “goodwill in the bank”.
Health insurance in MA is compulsory: full or partial contributions to a nanny’s health insurance premiums can be paid directly by the employer on a pre-tax basis. This is a great deal all around as a part of a compensation package!
Food: Although some nannies bring all their own food, the norm is for the family to provide food for the live-out nanny during meals that fall during her working hours as well as all meals for the live-in. Work out whether she will have her own shelf and allowance for foodstuffs or add items to the shopping list, and what of the family larder she is welcome to select from.
Sweetening the deal: If what you can afford to pay is unlikely to attract and keep a candidate that meets your requirements and preferences, what can you offer to sweeten the deal? Give her use of your Frequent Flyer miles? Especially nice accommodations for the live-in nanny? Membership in gym? Use of the family time-share in a vacation spot? Frequent extra paid time off? Be creative!
IMPORTANT NOTES ABOUT NANNIES DRIVING: If nanny is expected to use her own vehicle, the employers are responsible for paying at least the IRS mileage rate which supposedly is enough to cover gas and wear, although employers can instead offer a reasonable weekly gas/wear stipend that does not involve mileage record-keeping. ALSO, employers reimburse for any extra insurance rider she needs in order to be covered for professional use of her car as a nanny. Be sure that she gets this rider on her car insurance, or she will not be covered while she drives for you…even while running an errand without the kids in the car! She should spell out her duties to her insurance agent to be insured for professional use of her car as a nanny, which is often less expensive than other types of professional use insurance riders. If she drives your car, be sure she is added to your policy, or your car is not covered while she is driving!
Tax Issues -
Nannies are not independent contractors (self-employed) under federal law. Nannies are household employees, and you are legal employers with full responsibility to pay and withhold taxes for your employee. A nanny’s taxes usually range from 15-20% of gross wages.
Included are:
-Half of Social Security and Medicare Taxes (7.65%)
-Federal Income Tax
-State Income Tax
*Employers are only required to withhold Social Security and Medicare taxes from their employee’s salary each pay period, but if both parties agree, employers can also withhold state and federal income taxes.
A simple way to have the taxes prepared properly is to use a nanny/household employee tax service. They do all the math, file all the quarterly deductions, print out and send paychecks (or directly deposit), and provide pay stubs and tax documents.
Recommended nanny payroll services can be found at: www.4nannytaxes.com, and www.gtm.com. Also Breedlove & Associates for information, services, and tax calculator at www.breedlove-online.com.
Software for doing nanny payroll yourself is at http://www.nannypay.com/
Nannies should always be paid on the books. The IRS invokes severe penalties for paying under the table, including tax evasion criminal charges and hefty fines. Any professional title the employer holds can be revoked, and public office opportunities lost forever. Aside from this is the consideration that a relationship that is based on a high level of trust should not begin by either party inviting the other to be (or accepting the role of) a co-conspirator in an illegal act. Paying on the books means the employer is eligible for tax credits, the nanny is putting away Social Security and has proof of employment for future loans and credit applications, and both parties have peace of mind from acting legally and honorably. Taxes are a small price to pay for all of this.
Check also on Workmen’s Compensation insurance…I haven’t made a study of this, but I believe it is required in MA.
INTERVIEWING THE NANNY
This is a topic that would cover several pages.
In general: there are screening questions about your priorities that you ask on the phone to determine whether you have a viable candidate. For the candidates that pass the screening, first interviews can be conducted via email or on the phone, and further determine whether you might be a good match for each other. If there is mutual interest once more details about the job and your childcare philosophies have been discussed, schedule a face-to-face meeting in which both parents and nanny can meet. This can be in a public place such as a restaurant followed by a third interview at home with the children after more questions have been asked on all sides in person. A home interview can be followed by a short playtime to get a chance to see children and candidate interacting. Some families then schedule a paid trial day or half-day before committing to hire.
Once you and your spouse have agreed on the best nanny for your situation, offer her the job and thank the other candidates, who may be interested in being backup caregivers if your nanny is ever sick. Ask if you can keep their contact information and call them if needed!
There are many websites with helpful interview questions. Start with those at www.4nanny.com/interview_questions.shtm and www.enannysource.com/articles/interview-questions.aspx, and continue by googling “Nanny Interview Questions”.
WORK AGREEMENT
There are so many details that are agreed upon when a nanny is hired, it is essential that both parties read and sign a written summary of them all, so both parties are sure they understand what was agreed to and there is a record of the agreement to re-examine later if questions arise. The work agreement is not a legal contract, although some have successfully been used in small claims court.
Work agreements should be worded with specifics so there is no question about what is expected. Instead of “Nanny will keep the kitchen clean,” state “Nanny will wash, dry, and put away any dishes used by herself and the children during the day, and will wipe up any messes she or they have made in the kitchen.” Or, “Nanny is responsible for rinsing family breakfast dishes, emptying and filling dishwasher, and cleaning any surfaces or dishes that she and the children have used during her shift.” Both parties need expectations spelled out clearly, so there is no disagreement later on about what was agreed to. Work agreements are usually set to be revised and renewed at the end of each year, but bugs can be worked out at any time it’s not working– both parties can negotiate changes and initial them together.
Most work agreements provided by agencies and found online are rather bare-bones and are focused one-sidedly on the needs of the parent. For instance, there may be a minimum notice period that parents expect if the nanny plans to leave the job, but no matching minimum notice period (or severance pay) that the parents pledge to give the nanny if they are the ones terminating. For a positive relationship between both parties, there must be a feeling of equitable exchange and consideration on both sides. Use the free work agreement templates you find by googling “Nanny Work Agreement” and “Nanny Contract” (a misnomer) to craft an agreement that matches your family’s needs, and what you will offer your nanny in return. Consider adding provisions for days when weather makes traveling to work dangerous to your live-out nanny, severance pay if notice is shorter than reasonable or if a replacement is found before the notice period ends, and other concrete assurances that her needs are considered as well as your own. An excellent tool for creating a fair and balanced work agreement which covers all areas of duties, responsibilities, and appropriate compensation is the interactive one found at info@nannycontracts.com. There is a charge for this one, but the simple process of using it eliminates ahead of time pretty much every future disagreement or misunderstanding that could ever come up, and helps both parties see what they get in exchange for what they give. It is the one I use personally.
Transitioning in the Nanny
It’s a good idea to take a day or two off from work to demonstrate the routine to the new nanny, show her where everything is, and let the children see your comfort level with this new person who will be caring for them.
Knowing Your Nanny is Good to Your Kids
You’ve done the background check, and in the interviews found that you liked and maybe even trusted the nanny. But you’ve heard horror stories in the news, and wonder about nanny-cams and “How’s My Nanny” stroller plates and other abuse-catching paraphernalia. These items do not prevent the first abuse from occuring, they are put into place when the parents’ guts say they may have hired the wrong person, to confirm a suspicion. So listen to your instincts at the beginning and hire only someone you feel 100% good about, then be proactive in appropriate overseeing of your nanny.
ONGOING SUPERVISION
Communication with your caregiver is key. Talk about the day at the beginning and ending of each shift as much as time and kids’ need for immediate attention allows.
The Communications Log: A Record Book That Can Become a Keepsake of Your Child’s Development: Keep a communications notebook that you both write notes in about important things that happened with the children during your shift. With babies this is eating and sleeping, and eliminating times and amounts, as well as general disposition and health. With older pre-verbal children, activities and events are entered so you can reflect back to your child “Oh, you went to the park! Did you ride on the swing? Did you see squirrels?” And events that frightened or excited preschoolers can tip off parent or nanny about what feelings and behavior to expect that day or evening. If both parties are comfortable using it for this additional purpose, the communications book is also a way to communicate concerns and needs. Or instead there can be weekly or monthly meeting times set aside for that. Or email or phone can be used when the child is asleep.
There is no need for anxiety and suspicion toward your nanny if you remain alert and aware, and all signs point to good care. Is your child still as happy, secure, and outgoing as ever, or are there emotional or behavioral changes? When you call during the day, does nanny sound frazzled, or confident? Does the nanny enthusiastically share observations about the child, point out milestones of development, and offer information and resources regarding stages the child is going through? Is there any indication that her account of the day’s activities is factual? (For instance, when the nanny reports a trip to the library, do they bring back books? When they’ve gone to art activities, do art projects come home?) Most small children go through tough transitions when nanny arrives and the parents prepare to leave, so discount any upsets that occur then… but when you drop in or arrive home at the end of her shift do nanny and child appear to have bonded well?
Drop in a few times during nanny’s first days and see how things are going, or ask a neighbor to stop at the park when your nanny plans to bring the children and give you observations of nanny’s care of and attitude toward the children.
Once you’ve satisfied yourself that your nanny is good, relax but always maintain communications and remain aware. Even a good and dedicated nanny can burn out, or have a spate of personal or health problems that interfere with her ability to perform her job well. As an employer of a person doing sensitive and critically important work, you are responsible for noticing and intervening if all is not as it should be.
Keeping a Good Nanny: Top perks appreciated by nannies are raises, bonuses, and extra paid time off (“Go home early!”). However, every nanny needs to be appreciated and recognized for the care she gives and the extras she does. Never, ever, underestimate the power of “Thank you!”
In Conclusion: Employing a nanny takes a lot of advance preparation, careful screening, fair dealings, and maintenance. But the result is a good match for your family and excellent care for your child.